L,L,L… but sometimes it gets ugly

ugly #1… so i must say this is supposed to be "happy" blog but i am choking back stupid tears because something has flipped a switch of in me that would warn people to stay away.  i mean it is 1 hour (when i started typing) in to my vacation and i feel like a monster inside.  so first leaving work early (like 3 hours early) was verbally approved by my manager yesterday if i did her a favor this afternoon!  AWESOME right?  until your (god bless him) bi-polar patient calls you 9 minutes AFTER you were supposed to leave to begin the aforementioned favor.  i really DID need to talk to this lovely gentleman prior to being out of the office for a week but he just loves to chit chat… and even though i mentioned in my voicemail (from 9 this am) that i would be leaving at 3 and out of the office all next week… he took his chances and dialed me up at 3:09!  and since the LAST thing one wants to return from a vacation to is "your patient had a drug interaction, or bad side effect and is in the hospital" (which would have ONLY happened had i NOT answered the phone).  1548 hours i am OTD (out the door) to simply drop off a laptop in Buckhead!  …luckily, no traffic and a painless commute (with toll relief) to regional and a smooth laptop hand-off… check on "one more thing" and switch the email to "out of the office" i leave work at 1715… 15 minutes 'early'.  which is on time or 15 minutes late for most.


ugly #2: when did july 1st become too late to bathing suite shop?  i know they start showing up in February and i just think that is silly… but there is NOTHING left!  macy's, 2 old navy's, steinmart, and a target…. so target #2: jackpot would be a stretch but i am pleased to have options!  (lets back up to those 'teary' feelings) i am looking for ANYTHING that matches in a large… (or x-large).  this saddens me that i am even considering XL bottoms… and since double D turned in to lil' C ~9 years ago i don't even want to THINK about an XL top… but we can mix and match and certainly find SOMETHING that will 'work' right?  YAY.. so i get a couple tops (in each size and 2 different colors) and a few bottoms (stripes, solids, dots, L, XL) and holy hell i even considered trying on a… wait for it… one-piece!  all in all 8 'pieces' with 15 different combinations (… and a 1 piece).  well the "man doing his job and following the rules" tells me there is a 6 item max… now ladies… we all "know" there is a max… but 2 pieces is really just ONE bathing suit so i should get a pass… well not according to TMDHJ&FTR!  i think i actually verbalized "are you f-ing kidding me? i have to take off all my clothes, mix and match these 6, and can NOT take 2 extra (and a 1 piece).  that's f-ing ridiculous!"  (i dropped an eff bomb at target!)  he says "you can take that up with corporate" "well i'd like to speak to a manager"  i chuckle that there is now a line of 8 ladies behind me… none of them have the audacity to say "i have less than 6... can i go in?"  i literally waited 6 minutes for NO manager to show up (an no one asked to cut!)  WTH… i say to myself… when did all these f-ing people start following rules?  no more than 6 items in a dressing room… no cutsies?  6 minutes later i settle drop the one-sies and and XL bottoms and end up with a black tankini.  i will be boycotting the perimeter target as well!  never again :(  but he seriously almost made me CRY!


there are a few other things that i am pissed about too (and will spare you) but i hope i can either sleep, drink, or exercise this off before the vacay REALLY begins… if you even care about reading anything else click on this link and you wont be disappointed!  it is the funniest thing i have read all week.

knock knock…..